auld lang syne

Note: I wrote this several days ago, before I had to put Chelsea to sleep.

Ms Smack asked on her blog a few days ago What's your biggest memory from 2008? Is it positive or negative? Did you grow from it? Would you repeat it?

This is what I wrote her:

I started 2008 in Tasmania in the middle of summer, and will end it back here in north Idaho in the middle of winter. Truth be told, I'd rather be back in Oz, my adopted country by choice. I was back in Idaho when my granddaughter came into this world, and held my mother's hand as she left it a few months later. I traveled around my country and met many fellow bloggers this summer and watched with many more proud Americans as we voted in a new generation of change in November. I started the year with a girlfriend who helped me rediscover myself and is now a good friend, and I'm ending it with a new girlfriend that is making everything feel so easy relationship wise, and has me looking forward to 2009.

I had many memories from 2008, good and bad, happy, sad, sweet and bittersweet. Too many to pick just one.

I think of that morning in bed in Hobart, Tasmania, a last dinner at Pizza Meine Liebe on High St, talking with my daughter in the hospital room at 2am and waiting.

Driving through a huge thunderstorm in Georgia, saying good bye to my mom, drunk on wine at Karen's house that wonderful night.

The emptiness of my parents house at the end of it all, the sadness of having to throw my daughter and her family out of my house the day we elected Obama number 44, November 23rd, and then one month later...

When I think about the year, the people I met, the places I went to, the things I did, I wonder at it all. These last two years really have been a time of growth for me, and now I wonder what is next? What will 2009 bring?

I wonder...

Happy New Year everyone.

enough now

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

The tumor in her abdomen was the size of a softball, and squeezing all her intestines against her stomach, and the mass in her chest was pushing on her lungs and heart. The vet said even taking out the one they could in the abdomen, and giving her chemotherapy, the best we could have hoped for would have been six months.

Shortly before 11am I let her go, holding her in my hands.

I'm so tired of this. No more. Please.

I have to go get my blood drawn now, then run a few errands. After that I'm coming home and cooking a nice meal, getting drunk on jack and coke, and losing myself in a few movies.

Tomorrow it's supposed to snow again...

drowning in merlot...

I want to thank you you all for your comments on my last post.
Such wonderful heartfelt ones, really.

I'm sitting here drinking my nice bottle of Aussie Merlot my girlfriend bought me for Christmas, at her urging. She told me to self medicate tonight.

I took Chelsea to the vet today and the news is about what I feared. She has two tumors growing in her, one in her chest (which is why she's been breathing so ragged) and one in her abdomen, causing her intestines to bunch up against her stomach, which is why she stopped eating. They're keeping her overnight, and given her IV fluids, pain and anti nausea medication.
The doctor said she's comfortable and eating again, but I could tell what she thinks I should do by the tone in her voice.
But then she told me Chelsea was happy... Why did she have to say that? It just makes it harder. I'll be going over to the vet hospital in the morning to see her and talk to the Doc, look at the x-rays, and make a decision. I talked to my son tonight and let him know too, and if I decide to let her go, he will come over to be there. I'm trying not to cry as I write this...

therapy...

I've written and rewritten this post twice now, and more times in my head.
My heart just hasn't been in to writing lately. I don't know why, I've just lost interest in it, for a while now, and that's why I've thought about ending my blog. There's alot of stuff going on in my life, good and bad, and and AND... ok, here it is...

My dog is sick. She has been throwing up for three days and hardly eating. I'm going to take her to the vet tomorrow, and I'm worried. She's 13 years old which is really up there in dog years, esp for larger dogs...sigh. And yesterday Kimba texted me about Taz being sick too, poor chum, he may have scratched an eye. He may be at the vet now...

I'm also having a medical issue with my bits, and need to get it checked, it's been hurting at the most inappropriate times lately...sigh. Just my luck.

My photography work is going so fucking slow...sigh.
And then I look at other photographers work and think how much better theirs is and how shite mine is. I know that isn't always the case, but deep down all my self doubts and I told you so's well up and overwhelm me now and then. I fear failure, and I know I'm no different than anyone else in that department, but I want so much to make this work, and I get down on myself. I have a new goal to work towards this coming year, one that will work regardless of where I live...

And I don't know where I will live yet. This economy is killing the real estate markets. And if things get really serious with Terry (which I could see happening down the road), that could change up my plans as well. She has told me she's thought of moving somewhere new herself, I might have to take her to Arizona to look around...

My parents house is slowly turning into a money pit I fear, I got a building inspection report that shows a couple serious issues that need to be addressed and then the water heater went out too. So tomorrow I have to try and set up repair work long distance, after taking Chelsea to the vet. After the first of the year I'll be dropping the price of the house twenty grand to try and move it quicker as well...sigh

All this costs money, which has been draining out of my account way too fast for my liking, and that means I have to get out this week and drop off a few resumes around town, probably Tuesday when I go for my PSA test...which I still have to pay full price for without any insurance... big sigh. I worry about finding a job in this economy too...

I worry too much about everything, and over think stuff too. Terry tells me this, about us. I worry I won't be able to make her happy, or be good enough in bed for her (she has a big appetite shall we say). She has told me she isn't going anywhere, and I believe her, but those thoughts keep popping back in there. I know it's my past causing me these thoughts, but it's hard to shake the years of conditioning....sigh. But every time I look at her picture it makes me smile, and I know things will be fine...

I read this back and think what a fucking sad sack I sound like, but that's where I'm at right now. I'm not really depressed, and I have my good moments, and truth be told, I feel much better now having written this out. So I guess there's hope for me yet *smirk*

And I guess you'll all have to put up with me for a while longer, eh?

I started out writing this post titled as tapped out, because I didn't feel like writing, but then once I started, it just came out like it always has, and that felt good.

Blogging therapy, gotta love it...

That, and listening to the Goo Goo Dolls...

tis the day before christmas...

December 22, 2006.
The day I started this blog. This is the 453rd post I've put up. Wow, it feels like a book these days, and when I read back, I'm struck by how much I've chronicled here. So much life...

Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts with me this far. The past few days I've seriously considered hanging it up here. I looked at my last two posts and thought, fuck, I'm writing about the weather now... but then I saw how many people commented and realize I truly love "talking" with everyone here, and visiting your blogs. I just can't walk away from blogging and all the friends I've made here. But I will cut back to only one or two posts a week now, as I really have to concentrate on my business, get a part time job, and I'm spending more time with Terry.

December 23.
This would have been my mom's 84th birthday, and was my namesake grandfather's birthday as well. Happy birthday mom... I wonder if we remember things like our birthdays in the next life?

But in a interesting coincidence, Terry's birthday is the 23rd as well, and we had a nice dinner out at the steakhouse I made reservations with last week (although we had to put up with the country music she and I don't care for), and then back to my place to exchange presents, drink some wine, and finally put those bed sheets I cleaned to good use...we both realised it was time a couple days ago, but hadn't had a chance to spend the night together until now. It was worth the wait.

December 24th.

The day started early with Terry waking me up in a most pleasant way, then some coffee in bed, but sadly we had to head back to her place early so she could pick up her son and finish packing for their flight south to California. Damn, I'm going to miss her until she gets back on New Years day.
Now I'm sitting here watching the snow fall and listening to parts of my 21 Christmas albums(yes Kimba, I downloaded Barenaked Ladies [thanks, ASM!] and Enya's Christmas albums this season) on my iPod dock. There are presents under the tree, food in my pantry, and warm air in my house, so life is good.

I've had Merry Christmas texts from Chicago and Australia this afternoon, and Terry just called to update me on their flight progress. I have to go wrap some last minute gifts, and then watch a couple movies. Tomorrow I will spend at my son's place, provided I don't get snowed in with the last storm coming in now... I'm SO glad I have a snow thrower!

So to all my wonderful friends I wish you a very Merry/Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. May you all get just what you want under the tree tomorrow, and I will leave you with one of my favorite Christmas songs as my present to you:

busy and something unexpected

Until yesterday I hadn't received a single Christmas card all season. It hasn't brothered me at all, I always send more (with my annual update letter) than I receive, and I think some friends may think I'm still in Australia even...

But the card yesterday was the one I least expected to get this year.
It was from my daughter.
She sent a simple generic card, signed Love, and their names.
There was a photo too, of my granddaughter, smiling and cute, with four of her cousins of various ages. And the return address on the front of the envelope was not surprisingly lazyass BF's parents home in Illinois.

But tonight when I went to the store, I picked up some baby clothes and a card that said Merry Christmas daughter...

I've been busy the last few days, replacing a defective internet modem, shoveling mountains of snow, writing my Christmas letter, doing last bits of shopping, and buying a new sofa for my living room, which was delivered today. I also spent Friday night and this afternoon with Terry, and tomorrow we're going to a movie and then spend some time at my place, as the last two days we've had her son with us, and it's hard to sneak many kisses in with him keeping an eye on us... We're also trying to get as much time in together as we can before she and her son fly to California to spend Christmas and New Years with her other two adult kids and her parents. I joke with her about finding someone to kiss at midnight on New Years Eve, and then find out she won't be here!
Ah well, I'm sure we'll make up for it when she gets back...

Here's three photos of the snow and clean up afterwards.

buried

Glad I'm inside today, the entire region has ground to a halt with record snowfalls. Practically everything has closed down for the day, all the cities, schools, most businesses, the airport (no flights in or out)... I've never seen this much snow fall in a 36 hour period since living up here, and it's still coming down. I haven't bothered to measure it, but it's somewhere around 24 to 30 plus inches so far. A weather front came in and just parked itself right over eastern Washington and north Idaho... I'll be going out with my snowblower later this afternoon when it's supposed to let up. Here's a couple photos from this morning, including one of Chelsea forging out to do her business. I heard a lady on TV call in and talk about how her two Jack Russells were digging snow tunnels to get outside. Not so sure Taz would enjoy this very much, he's probably sunning himself in the summer sun as we speak. Ah, how I wish I could join him about now!



Update: it's 3:45 pm, already starting to get dark, and still snowing. Hard. Fuck...One more photo to upload and out I go...

Ok, here's the goss...and a photo experiment.

So Karen asked: the suspense!!! the drama!!! please tell us what happened after you washed the sheets!

We behaved ourselves, and haven't used the sheets yet. We both acknowledge the fact we will (and truth be told we almost did Sunday), but we're taking our time here. Both of us have had relationships where we jumped right in with sex, and felt afterwards that maybe it was too soon. We are enjoying our talks, our pashing sessions, and we laugh about feeling like teenagers again. Terry was in a very scary marriage up until three years ago, and hasn't dated since because of it and wasn't planning to again, but told me that there was something about what I wrote and my photo that made her write me back on craigslist. Sunday was a big step forward for her in letting me meet her 11 year old son. This next Friday evening I will be going over to her place for dinner, and her son may be having a sleep over at his friends place... so who knows how we may feel then?

In the mean time I've been playing with HDR (high dynamic range) photography for the first time. If you haven't seen HDR photos, you're missing out, do a google search or go look at this photo Peter posted over on his blog Light On The Landscape, his stuff will knock you out. I took some photos this afternoon to experiment with, but because the temperature outside (15f) was well below the operating range for my camera (32-140f), I took the photos from the living room in my house, just opening the sliding glass door. So it isn't the most scenic shot, I was just using it for comparisons, and the regular picture isn't completely in focus either. But you can see how the 7 shots merged together for the HDR photo really brings out the white in the snow and clouds, and more detail in the trees verses the single photo I took. I will be playing with this format more once the weather warms up again.

Regular photo.

HDR photo.

texting, washing, and shoveling

Surprises at 6am.
Me because of a phone text from her wishing it was Sunday NOW, and she hates to text...
Her, because I was awake and answered her text.
And both of us for finding out we were in the same frame of mind.
So much for going slow and being good...

So, out I go to shovel the white stuff off the driveway in sub zero wind chills. Oh joy.

But first I have to put the bed linens in the wash, and get out the nice candles...

down and up and winterizing

I started to write about what's getting me down just now, but I don't like complaining or sounding like a whiner. But then I thought hey, it's my blog, so...

To Fotolia.com: I uploaded 51 photos to your site last week that have been accepted and sold on my first two microstock sites. Now I understand your company won't accept all of my work, and that your inspectors will have different criteria for your site, but you only accepted four fucking photos.
Four.
Really encourages me to sell on your site, that's for sure.
Thankfully the next company I uploaded to took over half of the 51...
But to the one inspector who broke with the standard replies by writing Your photographic work is excellent but does not meet the needs of the Fotolia customer base, thank you.
As a landscape photographer I know not all my photos are going to work for this type of medium, but I appreciate the encouragement and constructive advice.

On a side note, Dreamstime turned down my photo that just appeared in Mother Earth News, saying it lacked creativity and that I should go deeper, play, have a more creative, more personal approach to [photography]. Funny, I though the picture of a trailer selling horse poo for 50 cents a bag was pretty creative...

OK, I'm feeling better now that I vented. And just for the record, after I found out how many photos Fotolia took? I went right back on and signed up with two more companies, and tomorrow I will be setting up two more, taking me to eight total for now. I'll find my niche...it just takes time, and some patience. The process isn't unlike what writers go through in trying to get published I'm sure, and thankfully I can handle the rejection part pretty well, I just find the wide differences of the selection process between companies to be frustrating.

And on the up side? My new girlfriend Terry. I'm not going to say much for now, we're still getting to know each other (and draining our cell phone batteries at night doing so), and...I don't want to jinx it right now...

I spent the better part of yesterday running errands (and Christmas shopping) before the first big storm of the season hits later today. We're being told to expect 6 to 12 inches of snow with blizzard conditions, and then by Monday we'll have a high of 11f (-12c) and low of -6f (-21c), with similar temps for a week thereafter... I also winterized the cars when I realized my parents car that came from California is sitting in the driveway with regular windshield washer fluid, so I got that all flushed out and refilled with the -20f stuff. I also put a bottle of Heet in both car's gas tanks, just to be on the safe side... ah, yes...winter. I'm going to hole up at home for the next couple days, working my photos and watching the snow fly, but on Sunday I will head over to Terry's place to pick her up, as we're going shooting at the nice heated indoor range near my house.

By then we'll be in a winter wonderland of white, in fact I heard that we're forecasted to have a white Christmas, which is always nice. But after that, the snow is welcome to melt away at any time...


Valley Winter Song - Fountains of Wayne

don't be a Tom...

My friend from high school Mary got married a year or so before my wife and I did, they had their first of three kids by the time they attended our wedding. Back in 1998 her husband Tom had a small mole appear on the underside of his right arm, and Mary told him he should get it checked, but Tom decided it wasn't anything to worry about, it was just a little mole. But it grew slowly over the course of a year, and Mary kept bugging him to get it checked, but besides being an all round jerk, lousy husband and father, he was stubborn too. Said to never mind, it wasn't causing him any problems. Then over the course of a three day period in late 1999, the mole suddenly doubled in size, cracking open and weeping blood. Still believing it wasn't that big a deal, Mary finally told him to shut up and took him to the emergency room immediately.

I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. Within 6 months Tom was dead, because something as simple as a little mole growing on his arm wasn't a concern to him. The fact he most likely killed himself was poetic justice, Mary herself said that when he died, all she could think was Good, the bastard is finally dead... But that's another story, about a man who verbally abused his family, and as Mary found out after he died, physically beat one of their sons. I never liked Tom, and it was interesting to find out that my instincts were right.

But remembering his story is one of the reasons I made my follow up appointment today with a local urologist to recheck my prostate.

Thanks Tom, at least something good can come from your stupidity and ignorance.

well look at that...

Sparks...

And we talked about everything.
Our kids, politics, religion, past relationships, sex...
We both were surprised with how easy it was to talk to each other.
And some of the things I discovered about her today has led me to believe Christmas may have just come early this year for me...

How's that saying go about getting just what you wished for?

Maybe I should have bought a lotto ticket as well...

Oh, and even my dog Chelsea likes her.

stuff, stuff, and more stuff

Lots of things going on in my world, and in my head right now. I don't want to write separate posts for it all, so I'll just do chapters here...

Blogging

I'm finding it harder to be interested in lately, with more of my time spent on my business and outside interests. I'm working on keeping up though because it's important to me to stay in touch with my friends here. I find myself wondering if I want to keep posting though, and my two year blogging anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm nothing if not OCD with anniversaries... don't know yet. I've said I'd stop before though, and that didn't last...

Work

I'm actually working as I write this, uploading photos to yet another microstock site, this one is Fotolia.com, and in the past week I've uploaded over a hundred of my best shots to four sites, with more to come. It's mind numbing work, key tagging and proofing the photos before submitting them, then waiting to see what gets accepted and rejected, then starting all over with the next batch... I know this is what I have to do to (hopefully) bring in the big bucks, but I wish I could just be out taking the photos and working them in photoshop...
I've also signed up with a online storage company, Mozy.com to back up my portfolio in a safe place beyond a thief's hands or god forbid a fire in my house. I get unlimited storage for 50 bucks a year, which is good considering I have almost 80 gigs worth of photos now...
The new HP laptop is working well too, seem Microsoft took care of many of the Vista OS bugs with the release of service pack 1, and all my editing software and back up drives work fine. This next week I plan to start building my website, which should be fun. Oh, and I received the magazine today that had my photo in it, very cool to see my name in there!

Women

In the past two weeks, I've had phone calls from three woman that mean alot to me.
First Bobbie called me to vent about her situation with Don, and the lack of a normal, sexual, married relationship between them. She told me she still won't ever leave him though, because she's sure it would push him over the edge and he would commit suicide. I didn't realise he was that depressed, but she assured me he is, and that really sucks. I thought of telling her that martyrdom doesn't suit her well, but I'm hardly one to talk, living how I did for eight years in a sexless marriage...
But if Don ever were to follow through with his threats, I'd be down there in a heartbeat to help pick up the pieces. I don't understand how someone can be that depressed, try as I might, to me life can't ever be that bad, and I wish he could find a way back to that guy I used to hang out and joke with until we had tears running down our faces from laughing so hard. Thinking about what he must be going through these days makes me very sad.

Then a few days after I wrote this post, Karen called me out of the blue, still sounding sad and tired herself. But I can't fix her problems and unless she changes her life around, she isn't going to have a life to live, and as much as I care for her, I can't put my life on hold. But she still has my number...

The day after Thanksgiving I had a very nice hour and a half phone call with Kimba that left me vexed for a day afterwards, because I knew she had something else she wanted to say, but didn't. Sometimes I think we may have left things unfinished. And someday maybe we'll find out, or maybe we won't, I don't know. Life has a funny way of taking you full circle, only to find out later on that you didn't quite complete that trip you thought you did...

And now there's a new woman, Terry. We're going out on our third date this Sunday, for fish tacos (something we both love) and bowling. She's very nice, but so far no real sparks, well maybe a few...
We talked again last night for an hour, we make each other laugh and smile, and we're making plans for future dates, including her birthday where I'm making reservations at a famous local steak house. It's nice if nothing else to have someone to spend time with once a week, and talk to on the phone more often. Weird coincidence about her birthday, Dec 23rd... Same birthday as my grandfather and mom... and also my blogiversary, hmmm...

Daughter

Nothing. Nada. Except that now a month has passed since I kicked her and lazyass BF out, and no word for three weeks from either of them. I've tried calling her twice and texting, but her number is either disconnected or changed, so I'm free to dispose of all the shit they've left in my garage now. I'm giving away most of the food they left behind, and calling a local charity to come take the three (yes, three) couches and coffee table away. I'll hang on the the baby crib, clothing and such for a while longer though. And the special stuff of hers I won't ever get rid of.
I hope someday she wakes up and will want them...

The House

Coming along slowly, My office is in good shape, and I'm comfortable in it, still need to frame and hang my artwork I've collected in Oz and around the US. I have moved all the furniture I kept from my parent's place in, and replaced most everything lost, destroyed, or ruined by my daughter and BF. Just to burn my incense I had to buy a new holder (my nice Aussie one is gone) and lighter, as all my lighters and matches (including my special old matchbooks) were all used... Lazyass BF had no respect for any of my stuff, and I guess he couldn't even buy his own fucking matches.
The next project is to paint the master bath, so I can hung up a new towel holder to replace the one they busted (and put a nice hole in the wall in doing so)... I don't care, the house was still standing, and everything else is fixable...
But the place is cozy again, and my dog Chelsea is almost back to her normal weight. She does wheeze quite abit when she breathes now, and that worries me...

The Weather

I really need to move south, this sun setting at 4pm shit, and mostly cloudy days is getting real old real quick...

OK, off I go, more uploading of files to do, and a broken toilet seat to still replace...

layers

Damn I've been feeling philosophical lately, my mind is just full of so many thoughts, yet fleeting to the point of nothing write worthy. I come across everyday stuff and think oh yeah, that's an analogistic (new word I think) way to look at life...
For instance: I had to do a system restore on my new work laptop last night, and thought wow, that would be nice to do in life sometimes. Yes, thank you, I'll just go back two weeks here...and keep the knowledge I've already gained...

I started to write about a couple things on this post last night, then this morning, I changed my mind and cut and pasted it into it's own post. Maybe Friday. Just not in the mood to talk about it yet, I guess, still rolling thoughts around in my head...Have a email to reply to as well, and for the same reason, I haven't yet.

I read THE most wonderful Thanksgiving post last night over on Maria's blog, go read it, it's better than what I'm serving up here right now *smirk*.

Anyway, here's a meme Crushed did, then Kately as well (I hope you don't mind me calling you that Kate...), and I have seen a couple others do it now as well. Enjoy, and consider yourselves tagged as well if you want!

LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Name: John, aka Fuse, aka Fusion
* Birthday (month, day): July 2nd, and the next one I DON'T want to talk about!
* Birthplace: Orange, California
* Current location: Near Coeur 'd Alene, Idaho
* Eye color: Hazel, always sounds so boring to me. I like green or brown eyes.
* Hair color: What little there is is brown with lots of grey/white mixed in.
* Height: Five foot, seven and one half inches.
* Righty or lefty: Right handed.
* Zodiac sign: Cancer.

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: I'm 12th generation American on both sides, but the most I'm aware of is 1/8 Swedish and 1/8 Cherokee Indian .
* The shoes you wore today: Working at home rocks! Wore my new moccasin slippers, and then my hiking shoes to get the mail and walk around the block once.
* Your weakness: spending money too quickly (good answer Kate), putting things off to the last minute at times.
* Your fears: Dying alone, ending up destitute.
* Your perfect pizza: A tie between Hawaiian, and garlic chicken.
* Goals you’d like to achieve: My own gallery, and to be part of a big exhibit someday.
* Your first waking thoughts: Coffee, and brekky time!
* Your best physical feature: I think my legs, but I was told last week I have a very very nice smile.
* Your most missed memory: I don't know, it's missing!

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: Tried it once this year just for the hell of it.
* Cuss: Yes. I never used to be a swearing sort of person but I do a lot these days. (another good answer Kate!)
* Sing: I used to carry a tune pretty well, not so much anymore.
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Twice.
* Did you go to college: Just Jr. College, for a couple years.
* Liked high school: Fuck no.
* Want to get/stay married: Been there, done that, got the f'ing t shirt. Not so sure I'll do it again.
* Believe in yourself: Sometimes, still working on it.
* Think you’re attractive: Nah. Maybe average, on a good day...
* Think you’re a health freak: No, but I try to be good to my body these days, still have to get in to the doctor for my recheck...
* Get along with your parent(s): I did, more so in their later years.
* Like thunderstorms: Love them.
* Play an instrument: I used to play clarinet in grade 6, then switched to alto sax through high school. Marched in a large award winning band too.

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drank alcohol: Yep, Merlot tonight in fact.
* Smoked: Nope.
* Done a drug: Never.
* Made out: Nope, not yet ;)
* Gone on a date: Three dates in the last month.
* Gone to the mall: A few days ago, on our second date.
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Hey I like 'em, but not that many at once!
* Eaten sushi: I officially hate the stuff (with you there Kate).
* Been on stage: No.
* Been dumped: Hmmm, I guess so, by Karen...
* Gone skating: I ice skated once, very badly.
* Gone skinny dipping: No.
* Stolen Anything: Yes, many moons ago...

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: An actual game? No. Others have said love is a game, in that case, yes.
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Late bloomer, but working on making up for lost time, and have found out I hold my liquor well. Three times stick out the most though. Strip club, houseboat, and Karen's place...
* Been caught “doing something”: Never, if "doing something" means what I think it means...
* Been called a tease: No.
* Gotten beaten up: No.
* Shoplifted: And No.

LAYER 6:

* Age you did get/hope to be married: I was married at 22. God was I ever that fucking young? And what the hell was I doing married at that age?
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): 2, Son, and Daughter.
* Describe your dream mate: Oh please...
* How do you want to die: Like my dad, of old, old age in my sleep.
* What did you want to be when you grow up: An air traffic controller in the Air Force.
* What country would you most like to visit: I already lived in Australia, but I wouldn't mind visiting the Scandinavian countries too.

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: None.
* Name a person you could trust with my life: Bobbie.
* Name a favorite CD that you own: Michelle Branch, The Spirit Room.
* Number of piercings: Nada.
* Number of tattoos: Two.
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: At least twelve. Trick question everyone, think about marriage announcements, births, deaths, etc...
* Name a past experience that you regret: Sheila.

And this song has been dancing around in my head ever since it came up in shuffle play on my iPod, I dare you not to dance a little...

ring tones and cell phones...

I've had this post floating around in my unfinished post bin for a while now, and since nothing else is coming to mind to write about (well, at least that I want to talk about...), I thought this would a good time to put it up.

I know many people use lots of songs to identify who is calling them, my friends Drama and Mike do. I'm old(er) school, and only use two songs on my phone, one for my text messages:

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

and one for phone calls:

Learning To Fly - Tom Petty

My Nokia phone allows me to download songs right off my computer, so I can use any song I like, the problem is in finding a tune that starts off strong enough to be heard as a ring, many songs start out too quietly. But now that Viva La Vida by Coldplay is getting airtime on the radio, I've been doing little double takes in my head and almost reaching for my phone when the song comes on....

I like my little Aussie phone, except for the fact I can only text and talk on it, because of it's foreign bloodline. But AT&T wireless hasn't come out with another Nokia yet that I want (no, I don't want or need the iPhone). Supposedly they're going to start carrying the N95 down the road with the 5 megapixel camera...

So what ring tones do you guys use? And phones?